Saturday, April 1, 2017

one week down & soo tired

one week down.. one week. I can you I am so thankful for the weekend. 
I didn't have to wake up early. I didn't have to drive up to fayetteville. Now work...
I went to bed at 10 I know lame, but I had a LOOOONG day yesterday. and I didnt get out of bed til 9.
I had a hot bath, cause lord my body aches... everywhere. I think even my hair hurts. I am so moody lately. Im tired .. so tired. shakey dizzy.... anyways
Yesterday was a really long day. I couldn't sleep .Havent been able to sleep much lately. Anyways My hubby gets up at 3-3:30 is to go to work. Hes been staying up late with me after I get off work. So he's tired. yesterday he left and pretty soon I hear a pounding on my bedroom door. I live in the country.. far away from people.. and i hear a pounding. at m my . bedroom. door. Freaked me the hell out so big brave me you know what i say, from under my blankie? "yes" yep thats what I said like a burgular is gonna answer.. anywho it was my stepson.. I hear this voice from behind the door.. "Dad forgot me" I almost burst out laughing.. almost. I started calling repeatedly to my husband not sure what was going on. Pretty soon I see truck lights come up the driveway and then proceed in leaving . Im still calling mind you. Finally get an answer and I say what the crapt did you forget your son? and he said yeah.... Never gonna let him live this down.
Anyways Had to be up at Radiation by 7 in Faytetteville. I got home with about 20 minutes to get dressed and head in to work.
I have a friend at work whos husband has colon cancer . She's a pretty amazing woman. She sees things through the caregivers eyes but also knows whats going on. So I like talking to her .I had alot weighing on my mind and she let me cry she gave me advice and I made her bawl so Productive talk lol. She made me feel better and Ive had a doozy of a week. 
My co manager told me he needed to talk to me and I thought Oh crapt what did I do now. But he asked me what was going on with me and told me he was told about my cancer . Asked me how i was doing and what they are going to do... but he also told me that I can't do everything on my own that I needed to lean on people sometimes and not pretend to be so tough all the time. I told him that for some reason it makes me feel weak, that I didnt want to be babied or treated with pity. He told me that people have bad days and if I was having one to just let them know and they would back off. But he also told me that if I needed to talk I could come to him . His wife is going through breast cancer , so I know he has his own stuff hes dealing with so it made me feel pretty good that he would not only ask me how i was doing but also take the time to ask about me. And be sincere. Cause there is always those people that ask but don't really care.
I must say I work at a pretty great place, I don't know about outher stores but Mine is pretty special . They do make you feel like you are more than just an employee. 
Anyways I worked ran to the doctors at my lunch to sign my paperwork for intermittent leave. I sat in my car when i got back in the quiet with the windows down and just read for 30 minutes. It was nice.
I finished my day and came home to popeyes chicken. my favorite. and my husband had found the elusive hard to find apparently made of gold chelated magnesuim the doctor told me to take for my leg cramps. He's da man. I ate he rubbed my feet and by 10 I was ready for bed....

So I made it through my first week of radiation . sore and tired but through it. Now 2-3 weeks more to go.
Carpe diem!

Cancer sux Ya'All!

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