Monday, April 3, 2017

week 2 and go....

So this weekend I laid around.Literally. Saturday I stayed on the couch. Didn't even put on pants til 3. 
hubby took me to the casino to get dinner and we made different crepes. I love crepes.
Sunday we went up to fayetteville to get some wood to make a shelf for the bathroom and ended up not because it was raining. 
My head and body hurt so much. I even fell asleep in the car. I hate that because I know what it's like to be the only one awake in a car when your driving... but I couldn't help it.

Today I started week 2 of radiation... I think I spent about 85 % of the rest of today running to the bathroom. My head feels like someone is stabbing me, and the pain runs into my shoulders and down my spine to my lower back... and nothing seems to help. Hot baths back rubs. nothing.
I was sitting in the bathroom at one point today getting sick when I thought to myself I need to call in.There's no way Im going to be able to work and keep running to the bathroom... Then I started laughing, hysterically, then crying, bawling.... I don't work today. And I didn't remember that. 
I swear sometimes it feels like I'm losing it. I know things I want to say but I can't seem to get the words out.
And I am so damn tired of crying.
So many things I want to get done, but then I end up just sitting around and pretty soon my day is over. I've finished 2 out of 3 used books I bought at the goodwill just being in the bathroom, and this is only the start to week 2. I started embroidering a tea towel today because I thought it makes me happy and it requires little effort and it's peaceful...
And because when Im stressed I bake... I made a pig pickin cake today.. I'll let ya know how it tastes tomorrow.
I fight like a girl every day trying to kick this things ass... but today it just kinda feels like I'm getting my ass kicked. I want to stay positive and believe that things will get better, some days are just worse than outhers and I've decided it's okay to feel that way.
Time to finish my laundry

Cancer sux Ya'all!

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