Today on the radio I heard a quote and loved it....
" my teenager talked to me today... but I can't say it on the radio"
My kids talk to me but I am almost embarrassed to say that I have been on the receiving end
of some extremely vulgar language. I would have never talked to my mom even a fraction of the way my kids talk to me. Sometimes you would think my name was Bitch instead of mom or Karrie.
When I was young I did most of what my mother told me to do, because I was afraid of what she would do. And not because she ever did just because I thought she would. I have heard that kids do that if you are a single parent.My mom was a single mother most of my life. Now when I was young I sometimes thought she was the worst parent in the world like most kids do. But now that I have kids of my own, I see that alot of what she used to make me do, I do with my own kids.
My kids split chores... they switch each week. one does dishes, one does laundry, & one does floors and trash. And they have to clean their rooms, and they rotate cleaning their bathroom even the 5 yr old. Not to much to do right? Well you would think I had them chained to the sink forcing them to do lave labor. I always hear the " you never make ______ do that" or none of my friends have to do this.
I really don't have too many rules.
they have to do their chores. I have to meet their friends parents before they go anywhere with them or to their house. They have to be in bed at 10 oclock.
They cannot hit me or the other kids. No drugs,drinking , or smoking. If they have a cell phone they cannot take it to school, cannot text after 9 on weeknights, or midnight on weekends, and they have to have text checks, and cannot delete anything til it has been checked. If they are on the computer they have checks, email facebook, myspace.
Now occasionally I have had someone write sentences for saying" pubes " at the dinner table, or the ever popular "teabag someone on halo or call of duty" or for calling me a bitch, ect.
Now as for punishments... I have tried everything.. grounding, taking away game systems, watching videos, tv, writing sentences, copying definitions, writing 500 word essays, running up and down the less than 50 yrds to our well pump house and back 20 times, doing outside work, moving brush, helping with wood.... and nothing works!
And they seem to act up in turns, if my older son is acting good, then my middle son will act up. and vice versa.
3 weeks ago my middle son got his cell phone taken away. He has had it taken away numerous times for deleting texts. and then he gets it back. when he bought his phone at christmas time, I told him if he got it he had to follow my rules with it or I would not hesitate taking it. He got it taken away, and begged to have it back. After thinking about it, I made him write a letter telling me why I should give it back to him. He had to write a 500 word essay on why it was wrong to delete the messages, and he had to make a contract stating that he knew the rules and that he knew this was the last time I was giving him a chance.
...Well I went to check his messages and found not only had he deleted parts of conversations, I also found conversations talking about sexual things to his girlfriend. I took the phone. Upon looking further at it I also found a porno video he had recorded from a movie. I took it and showed my mother so I had proof of the conversations and the video. Then I kept it hidden in my car, and the new minutes card he had bought in my purse.
Well the phone mysteriously disappeared. I asked him several times and he denied it. I searched everywhere. He continued to deny it. He was out of minutes and its a go phone so my sister suggested we call it. It rang and went to voicemail , so I knew someone had it. he still denied taking it. Finally I got on his facebook and write that whoever had his phone needed to give it back... one of his friends sent me a im saying that they texted the phone and someone had answered it and they wondered who it was. Well I knew who it was so I said thank you, and questioned my son... he still denied it. the friend imed back and said the persons name was ____ and she was mad because the friend had interrupted a conversation between her boyfriend and her. I told my son to text her , we were going to get the phone and I texted her on my cell. I recieved several pissy emails back from the child, and it wasn't until I said I was going to go to her house with the police did she not only admit she had the phone but swear to give it back.... so I got the phone back.
That next day I had to drive the kids to school. The only money I had was $24 . I pulled into the gas station to get gas as I was out.... No money. Its about 2 miles to the school from the gas station. my son kept vehemently telling me he didn't steal my money and I always blame him. My youngest daughters bday party was the next day, and I needed to drive 45 minutes up to get my mom and my sister, and now had no gas or money. so I told him he was going to call his grandma and tell her why I couldn't go get her. so he slammed down my money on my center console of my car.
Now upon finding the phone my son threw a fit, and was telling me I was a bad mother and he was going to call the police for me stealing his stuff. Upon other things I won't mention.
I picked the kids up from school... and started getting everything ready for my daughters party. My daughter said she had to tell me something but was told she wasnt supposed to tell me. apparently my son did talk to the police at school. Apparently he had some of his friends tell people he was being abused at home. He said the police told him they were coming out to question me the next day... on her party. So I immediately called the sherrifs explained what was going on. he told me no one was coming out and I did in fact have every right to punish my child and take the phone if I wanted to.
The party went off just fine, everyone was happy.
Well my oldest daughter who is now living with her dad, had had a blackberry cell phone and we are trying to sell it. my husbands friend bought his blackberry for his wife but she thought it was too big and didnt like it. so we told him we had this other one he could look at. I went to get it and it was gone. I searched the whole house... then I questioned my son. He had that look. So I knew he took it but he continually denied it. even crying saying he really didnt take it this time.....
I told him I knew he had the phone , he knew he had the phone... he needed to cut the crapt, and tell me where it was... he did. He had stolen it and was having his friend hold it for him.
I have asked him several times why he would take it and what was he even going to do with it. He wont tell me just shrugs and says he doesnt know.
So I guess I am just at a loss. When his older brother was arrested for assault I really thought he was going to start acting better. When I took his brother on the tour of the juvenile jail. He said he wanted to go, and see it.
So how do we as parents make our children mind, when ever time we try they can call a child abuse agency, or the police. I have been investigated a lot of times and found innocent but it does not take away the embarrassment to me or the rest of the family. It is sad when a parent has to take pictures of everything for proof.. or keep a journal of what has happened and what punishments were given. I have been told that they have to investigate every call. At one point my oldest daughter had handed out the number to the child abuse hotline and had her friends call in for her. I ended up with names and going to talk to the detectives. The parents have no rights, no protection.
I love my kids. Even when they are doing all this bad stuff. and I have fought to keep them with me on numerous occasions. But sometimes one has to wonder what the limit is.
Okay well I am now babbling. I guess I just needed to get this out.
thanks for anyone who listened... now i can get onto more pleasant thing!
have a great day
XOXO
Tink
Believing is only the beginning...
" my teenager talked to me today... but I can't say it on the radio"
My kids talk to me but I am almost embarrassed to say that I have been on the receiving end
of some extremely vulgar language. I would have never talked to my mom even a fraction of the way my kids talk to me. Sometimes you would think my name was Bitch instead of mom or Karrie.
When I was young I did most of what my mother told me to do, because I was afraid of what she would do. And not because she ever did just because I thought she would. I have heard that kids do that if you are a single parent.My mom was a single mother most of my life. Now when I was young I sometimes thought she was the worst parent in the world like most kids do. But now that I have kids of my own, I see that alot of what she used to make me do, I do with my own kids.
My kids split chores... they switch each week. one does dishes, one does laundry, & one does floors and trash. And they have to clean their rooms, and they rotate cleaning their bathroom even the 5 yr old. Not to much to do right? Well you would think I had them chained to the sink forcing them to do lave labor. I always hear the " you never make ______ do that" or none of my friends have to do this.
I really don't have too many rules.
they have to do their chores. I have to meet their friends parents before they go anywhere with them or to their house. They have to be in bed at 10 oclock.
They cannot hit me or the other kids. No drugs,drinking , or smoking. If they have a cell phone they cannot take it to school, cannot text after 9 on weeknights, or midnight on weekends, and they have to have text checks, and cannot delete anything til it has been checked. If they are on the computer they have checks, email facebook, myspace.
Now occasionally I have had someone write sentences for saying" pubes " at the dinner table, or the ever popular "teabag someone on halo or call of duty" or for calling me a bitch, ect.
Now as for punishments... I have tried everything.. grounding, taking away game systems, watching videos, tv, writing sentences, copying definitions, writing 500 word essays, running up and down the less than 50 yrds to our well pump house and back 20 times, doing outside work, moving brush, helping with wood.... and nothing works!
And they seem to act up in turns, if my older son is acting good, then my middle son will act up. and vice versa.
3 weeks ago my middle son got his cell phone taken away. He has had it taken away numerous times for deleting texts. and then he gets it back. when he bought his phone at christmas time, I told him if he got it he had to follow my rules with it or I would not hesitate taking it. He got it taken away, and begged to have it back. After thinking about it, I made him write a letter telling me why I should give it back to him. He had to write a 500 word essay on why it was wrong to delete the messages, and he had to make a contract stating that he knew the rules and that he knew this was the last time I was giving him a chance.
...Well I went to check his messages and found not only had he deleted parts of conversations, I also found conversations talking about sexual things to his girlfriend. I took the phone. Upon looking further at it I also found a porno video he had recorded from a movie. I took it and showed my mother so I had proof of the conversations and the video. Then I kept it hidden in my car, and the new minutes card he had bought in my purse.
Well the phone mysteriously disappeared. I asked him several times and he denied it. I searched everywhere. He continued to deny it. He was out of minutes and its a go phone so my sister suggested we call it. It rang and went to voicemail , so I knew someone had it. he still denied taking it. Finally I got on his facebook and write that whoever had his phone needed to give it back... one of his friends sent me a im saying that they texted the phone and someone had answered it and they wondered who it was. Well I knew who it was so I said thank you, and questioned my son... he still denied it. the friend imed back and said the persons name was ____ and she was mad because the friend had interrupted a conversation between her boyfriend and her. I told my son to text her , we were going to get the phone and I texted her on my cell. I recieved several pissy emails back from the child, and it wasn't until I said I was going to go to her house with the police did she not only admit she had the phone but swear to give it back.... so I got the phone back.
That next day I had to drive the kids to school. The only money I had was $24 . I pulled into the gas station to get gas as I was out.... No money. Its about 2 miles to the school from the gas station. my son kept vehemently telling me he didn't steal my money and I always blame him. My youngest daughters bday party was the next day, and I needed to drive 45 minutes up to get my mom and my sister, and now had no gas or money. so I told him he was going to call his grandma and tell her why I couldn't go get her. so he slammed down my money on my center console of my car.
Now upon finding the phone my son threw a fit, and was telling me I was a bad mother and he was going to call the police for me stealing his stuff. Upon other things I won't mention.
I picked the kids up from school... and started getting everything ready for my daughters party. My daughter said she had to tell me something but was told she wasnt supposed to tell me. apparently my son did talk to the police at school. Apparently he had some of his friends tell people he was being abused at home. He said the police told him they were coming out to question me the next day... on her party. So I immediately called the sherrifs explained what was going on. he told me no one was coming out and I did in fact have every right to punish my child and take the phone if I wanted to.
The party went off just fine, everyone was happy.
Well my oldest daughter who is now living with her dad, had had a blackberry cell phone and we are trying to sell it. my husbands friend bought his blackberry for his wife but she thought it was too big and didnt like it. so we told him we had this other one he could look at. I went to get it and it was gone. I searched the whole house... then I questioned my son. He had that look. So I knew he took it but he continually denied it. even crying saying he really didnt take it this time.....
I told him I knew he had the phone , he knew he had the phone... he needed to cut the crapt, and tell me where it was... he did. He had stolen it and was having his friend hold it for him.
I have asked him several times why he would take it and what was he even going to do with it. He wont tell me just shrugs and says he doesnt know.
So I guess I am just at a loss. When his older brother was arrested for assault I really thought he was going to start acting better. When I took his brother on the tour of the juvenile jail. He said he wanted to go, and see it.
So how do we as parents make our children mind, when ever time we try they can call a child abuse agency, or the police. I have been investigated a lot of times and found innocent but it does not take away the embarrassment to me or the rest of the family. It is sad when a parent has to take pictures of everything for proof.. or keep a journal of what has happened and what punishments were given. I have been told that they have to investigate every call. At one point my oldest daughter had handed out the number to the child abuse hotline and had her friends call in for her. I ended up with names and going to talk to the detectives. The parents have no rights, no protection.
I love my kids. Even when they are doing all this bad stuff. and I have fought to keep them with me on numerous occasions. But sometimes one has to wonder what the limit is.
Okay well I am now babbling. I guess I just needed to get this out.
thanks for anyone who listened... now i can get onto more pleasant thing!
have a great day
XOXO
Tink
Believing is only the beginning...
