When im stressed... I bake
and let me tell you yesterday was a doozy.
I had to have a blood transfusion a couple weeks ago my hgb was 6.7 ... life threatening is 6.5
Yesterday I found out why I was so anemic. stage 3 chronic kidney disease. I knew from the last round of chemo that my heart and kidneys were damaged. but this round has destroyed me.
No this is not a death sentence. But when you have cancer and your dealing with all the symptoms of that, the tiredness, the moodiness, the headaches, the muscles pains, not being able to eat , being sick when you do... you just want it to be over... my results are not back from that yet... but then I was hit with this.. still going to be tired.. still going to have to be monitored.. still going to have my muscle aches and headaches... it just seems like sometimes it never ends...
But I am alive, I can see smiles on my sweet kids faces, hear my granddaughter laugh, go to work and joke with my friends, spend time with my mom, ride some killer rollercoasters and feel free and alive for an average of 3-4 minutes, eats some amazing food, laugh and cry watching disney movies... and just maybe see if glen escaped and is alive and well on the walking dead. maybe finally convince my husband to walk hand in hand through the lights with me at silver dollar city.
Yep im alive and for that I am grateful and blessed... but I am also depressed. But thats okay cause I think Im allowed to feel that way. I used to feel guilty about that. So many people have lost their battles with cancer and have left loved ones to grieve over them, and I was depressed for making it but feeling the way I do, but after a long look at this situation....
I am a fighter and I have not given up, but I also have to get up every morning and deal with this. I go to work 5 days a week and put on a smile and do my job. I have to hope I have enough energy to do my laundry, and I get to go to doctors on my days off, and be used as a human pincusion. and Until someone walks in my shoes I don't think they should judge me.
So yesterday I did absolutely nothing. I just sat around and slept. Today I bake!
raspberry chocolate bites anyone?
and let me tell you yesterday was a doozy.
I had to have a blood transfusion a couple weeks ago my hgb was 6.7 ... life threatening is 6.5
Yesterday I found out why I was so anemic. stage 3 chronic kidney disease. I knew from the last round of chemo that my heart and kidneys were damaged. but this round has destroyed me.
No this is not a death sentence. But when you have cancer and your dealing with all the symptoms of that, the tiredness, the moodiness, the headaches, the muscles pains, not being able to eat , being sick when you do... you just want it to be over... my results are not back from that yet... but then I was hit with this.. still going to be tired.. still going to have to be monitored.. still going to have my muscle aches and headaches... it just seems like sometimes it never ends...
But I am alive, I can see smiles on my sweet kids faces, hear my granddaughter laugh, go to work and joke with my friends, spend time with my mom, ride some killer rollercoasters and feel free and alive for an average of 3-4 minutes, eats some amazing food, laugh and cry watching disney movies... and just maybe see if glen escaped and is alive and well on the walking dead. maybe finally convince my husband to walk hand in hand through the lights with me at silver dollar city.
Yep im alive and for that I am grateful and blessed... but I am also depressed. But thats okay cause I think Im allowed to feel that way. I used to feel guilty about that. So many people have lost their battles with cancer and have left loved ones to grieve over them, and I was depressed for making it but feeling the way I do, but after a long look at this situation....
I am a fighter and I have not given up, but I also have to get up every morning and deal with this. I go to work 5 days a week and put on a smile and do my job. I have to hope I have enough energy to do my laundry, and I get to go to doctors on my days off, and be used as a human pincusion. and Until someone walks in my shoes I don't think they should judge me.
So yesterday I did absolutely nothing. I just sat around and slept. Today I bake!
raspberry chocolate bites anyone?
Stage 3 of Chronic Kidney Disease
A person with stage 3 chronic kidney disease (CKD) has moderate kidney damage. This stage is broken up into two: a decrease in glomerular filtration rate (GFR) for Stage 3A is 45-59 mL/min and a decrease in GFR for Stage 3B is 30-44 mL/min. As kidney function declines waste products can build up in the blood causing a condition known as “uremia.” In stage 3 a person is more likely to develop complications of kidney disease such as high blood pressure, anemia (a shortage of red blood cells) and/or early bone disease.Symptoms of stage 3 CKD
Symptoms may start to become present in stage 3:- Fatigue
- Fluid retention, swelling (edema) of extremities and shortness of breath:
- Urination changes (foamy; dark orange, brown, tea-colored or red if it contains blood; and urinating more or less than normal)
- Kidney pain felt in their back
- Sleep problemsdue to muscle cramps or restless legs
No comments:
Post a Comment