Saturday, November 14, 2015

Murphys law and me

I am probably the walking , talking, eating, breathing, living version of Murphys law..

( Anything that can go wrong will...)
Yep that's me.
 I started my period halfway through my cycle .. and it was bad. i stopped taking my chemo pills and hormones so I thought maybe that was why..
3 boxes of overnight pads and 2 days later. I was calling my doctor.
So in I went on my lunch break to get a shot to stop the bleeding. and it worked ... yeah.
However my hgb was 7.3 so it is still extrmely low.
Thursday I went in to see my doctor and they decided to do another blood trnasfusion,
they went over the risks. We did the transfusion.
I went and visitied my mom and brother, I had a headace and was tired.
But heck I have been like that for.. well a looong time now.
I woke up the next day and I felt like I was dying.
My head was pounding , it felt like someone had it in a metal clamp and just kept screwing  it down.
noises, light, everything bothered me.
My legs , my back, my chest ached.
I had to continuously run to the bathroom to throw up..
word of advise NEVER eat sonics exteme chili tots the night before your sick.
My lovely brother told me I needed to try them, the hubs said he was getting sonics on the way home and asked what I wanted... big mistake BIG MISTAKE.
I was simultaneously freezing to death and burning up at the same time. You know so you have half your body in the blankets and half out.. then switch every once in awhile to counteract the different temperatures.
I took 3 hot baths to see if that would help.
I literally did nothing except sleep and run to the bathroom.
Around my 8th trip to run to the toilet, which by the way the stupid thing broke and i had to turn the water off so it wouldnt quit running, I thought...
Im done, im just done!
It seems like things just keep happening and i have tried to keep a I can do this attitude and I CAN!
but let me tell you it is harder some days than outhers.
As I was laying in bed contemplating the crapt end of the deal I have gotten... I mean come on im a good person, I do good things... where is all that karma everyone talks about, and whens it making its way to visit me.. Im ready.. HELLO!
Anywho as i was laying there, I was staring out the window. my purple see through curtains and the lovely shade of blue sky and the wondeful orange leaves in the tree... and i noticed those dang
ladybugs.. so I just kept watching them crawl over the outside of my window, and I started to think how resilient these things are. It gets cold and then warm and they just keep coming back. They survive!

Im not going to say that these things are all over my house because god wanted me to learn something but,,, maybe I learned something while watching them.
Im not going to believe that its going to be easy, cause the last 3 years have proven it's not. Im not going to say Im not going to cry and want to give up sometimes.. cause I will. but I am going to believe that I am resilient and I can do this
Have a Happy day Ya'All!

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