okay very frustrated

As some of you have read last year around this same time, I had dhs called on me for abusing my children. I was investigated and found unfounded. At the time I sent my two older kids to their dads for awhile to see if that would help. It didn't.
The two came back in august of last year. At first things went well. I ended up having to write down all the house rules and have my 4 kids initial and sign them. Well pretty soon my kids started the whole calling dhs on me again.
Last month i took my sons cell phone. Our rule for him to have it is he cannot delete messages and has to have text checks, can't take it to school, no calls or texts after 9 on school nights midnight on weekends. thats it. Well upon going through his messages i came across some very sexual content texts between him and his girlfriend, hes 14 shes 12. When i came across those I started to thoroughly go through the texts. he had tried deleting them, but must have missed some. he had like 7 replies from her in a row but nothing from him or vice versa throughout the 500 texts. So I took the phone. the next day I was going through the phone and found a porno video on it. I took the phone to my mothers and showed her so i would have proof.
Well the phone ended up being taken. he vehemently denied it . but upon posting something on his facebook, A friend of his told me who had his phone. after several nasty emails from the girl, I finally told her I was going to contact the police and go get the phone. I knew where she lived but did not want to go if her parents werent there. she agreed to bring and give my older son the hone the next day. Now when he wouldnt tell me where the phone was i made him pick up the trash by the burn barell, and rake it up so it could be burned, take everything out of the cupboard, and wash down the flat part. Well he threw a fit.

So i get the phone and everything is fine. 2 days later, I drive the kids to school and stop to get gas as i am on E. my last $24.00 was gone. I asked the kids where it was and finally told riley i needed it i needed gas. he told me i always blame him for everything, and he did not take my money, yelling the whole way up to the school. Right before we got to the school I told him that he was going to call my mother up and tell her why I would not be able to go pick her & my sister up for my youngest daughters bday party the next day. As I stopped to let them out he slams down the money on my console and gets out of the car without saying anything.

That night when the kids get home we started getting everything ready for my daughters party, and she tells me that she has to tell me something that shes not supposed to. I ask her what and she says that a cop came and talked to riley at school and they are coming to talk to me the next day... during her bday party. I immediately call the sherriffs. I swear they all know me by now. Explain the situation and ask what to do. he says he has no report about it, and i should put riley on the fins that his older brother is on. Well no one came to talk to me. I asked the principal and the resource officer about what happened and found that riley had went to school and told a friend that he was scared to come home and could he go home with him, that he was being abused at home. the kid called his mom who was worried and I guess talked to a sherriff.

Now after all this , my husbands friends was going to buy our blackberry pearl. we went to get it and this too ended up being missing. My son cried and said he really didnt take it this time and i always blame him for everything. finally i told him to cut the crapt and tell me who had the phone. he told me the kids name and i had him email him and call him .I got the phone back. and went up to file the fins. I was also told by a detective to turn him in for theft.
Now this was a hard decision because how can you turn your own child in. well if you have had the cops called on you as many times as i have and been falsely accused by your own children that you love and would die for. you would do it to. I knew he needed to learn there was consequences for his actions and he could not just go run and yell abuse when he got into trouble.
Where my kids learned this is beyond me. I really don't have bad rules, and they do very little chores.I do not know what kind of world that we live in when a child decides he doesnt want to be punished for something he or she did that was bad, can just run and yell abuse and the parents are the ones that are punished. Now I know I have done nothing wrong, and I can prove especially this last one (my son got misdemeanor theft and has to appear before teen court , and when the juvenile intake officer asked him if he was being abused at home he told her no and she asked why he said that and he said spite) But we live in a small town and people are always wondering if i did or not. I used to volunteer at the school and I don't do that anymore. and it seems like every time one of these investigations get done another one happens. I read on the site for dhs that it stays on your record for 7 years. In hind site I guess i should have been a better parent and turned my child in for breaking into a house and smoking pot, staying there all night. or sneaking out, or yes when my son hit me. but as a parent we dont want those things for our kids. I felt like a horrible mother when I went in and pressed charges on my son, but I would feel even worse if I did nothing and he stole something later and gotten into real trouble for it, or my son decided he didnt like what his wife or girlfriend was saying to him and he beat her.


So anyways why I am ranting today..... yesterday I get a phone call from a case worker informing me she needs directions to our house, and that she needs to set up an time for me to bring my kids in to interview..... AGAIN! my daughter has been to cheer practice all this week and she has to go next week or she cannot tryout. this is really making me mad, all because my son got caught stealing something and knew he was going to be punished.
what I also don't understand is why the dhs doesnt look at all the reports and do something about the false reports. If just once they would have said after me being interviewed, you do have to have rules, and you have to listen to your mom... maybe they would have seen that they can't use the system. The intake officer said that very same thing to my son, the police officer who charged him said it, the cop that arrested my older son for restraining me and not letting me and my younger kids out of my room, said it .
I don't know. But I do know i can use all the prayers available. I know they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but exactly how much can you take before you break.


thanks for listening
Tink