Saturday, November 5, 2016

Another C-Day down!

Another C-Day down...
So many questions go through your head...

Why me? How did this happen? Why did this happen? Will people treat you like a normal person? Is there something wrong with me? How much more can I take ? I need to be strong, while all I wanna do is curl up in a ball and bawl. So hungry but knowing if I eat I'm just gonna get sick. Dreading going into the doctors to hear more bad news. Getting asked how I'm doing and just not wanting to say one more time I feel like crapt. Just wanting one normal day... Just one. When will this ever end?...

And that's just the mental part of all this.
I have good days and bad days.  But I guess the most important part of that statement is...
I have days. Yep I'm still here. And will continue to fight. Continue to put a smile on my face and pretend everything is okay. And cry on my friends shoulders to make it through the day. And HOPE that I will get that normal day.

Today I got up and showered. Washed my hair and scrubbed my face and felt a little back to normal. 
Oh my body aches and I get chilled then I get too damn hot. My head is killing me. But the worst part is over and there's a month before I have to go again.
Halloween has come and gone and it's my favorite part of the year. I didn't even decorate this year , I just didn't feel like it. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and while I have to work, I'm hoping to get my family to come out to my house and actually have a thanksgiving dinner, and be thankful. Christmas is coming and I am going to do my damnedest to put that damn tree up and not let this win.

I guess today is just a depressing day and it helps to write this crapt down and get it out of my head.
I think I'll go make myself some hot cocoa and snuggle in my warm blankets and watch a Disney movie.

Tomorrow will be better!

~ Hope is what guides us . It's what gets us through the day &a especially at night.

Cancer sux Ya'All!

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